Thursday, July 08, 2004

ghoul pool

With Ayad Allawi’s offices mortared by insurgents yesterday, this seems timely:

Each entrant picks five members of Iraq's 37-person Interim Government that s/he believes will be the first to be assassinated, blown up or otherwise martyred. Unfortunately, this means that no more than seven people can join a single pool. The pool is won by whoever is the first to rack up five points or, alternately, whoever has the highest score by January 31, 2005, when a popularly- elected government is scheduled to take the reigns of sovereignty (the same day that monkeys are set to be released from butts all across Iraq). We assume this will allow ample time to establish a clear winner, but there's no need to panic if the deadline rolls around and two or more contestants are locked in a dead heat. After all, by the time the deadline comes, the American elections will be long since over, and pretending that Iraqi elections are imminent won't be necessary to whoever's in the White House. The Interim Government will be around for quite a while yet -- although not in its current lineup. As long as a single member is still clinging to life support in a US Army field hospital, the Ghoul Pool is in effect!